March 16, 2004

War Is Upon Us

Jimmy has not washed the sheets on his bed in more than 7.5 months. This, combined with his fear of falling water causes me to worry that his sheets may soon begin moving under their own power, and perhaps attempt a hostile, smelly takeover of my clean side of the room. I have amassed a stockpile of potpourri grenades and several gallons of Lysol ammunition for my squirt gun. I am confident in my abilities to hold off the uprising, though I may have to sacrifice Jimmy to the shower gods in order to do it.

Posted by Brian at March 16, 2004 08:07 PM
Comments

Ok, Make the little guy shower, take him in by his toenails if you have to just make him take a shower. Get Febreeze too, it will take care of the smelly sheets, but you could also give an anonymous call to his mommy.

Posted by: No at March 17, 2004 08:11 AM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Oh my God, I about fell out of my chair reading that post. Frickin' awesome. YOU should put together a book of day-to-day journals for him. I am sure it would make the top sellers list. I know I would get it.

The sad thing is, most of this is very true. I was just in there the other day and his sheets reek from out in the hall with the door closed. I feel really sorry for Brian. I will donate a bottle of Febreeze and a couple scoops of Tide to "sprinkle" in his sheets if you want. Just stop by anytime.

Posted by: Joe at March 19, 2004 03:05 AM

sometimes ya gotta fight fire with fire. allow something of yours to get extremely pungent in smell, and make jimmy suffer it.

or if you clean up stuff that he normally does not, cease doing so. eventually he should get the message.

and if he doesn't, bring in the garden hose and drench him while he sleeps.

Posted by: dante at March 22, 2004 06:14 PM

Great site. What's the status of the dude knowing about this golden but secret website? This is probably the best website I've ever run across in my life. And to think about how much of James we have in all of us.

I will be in touch.

Oh yes.

Posted by: Sean at March 22, 2004 06:20 PM

I, too, have roommate cleanliness issues such as this. My roommate's solution to the sheets issue is to simply not sleep in her bed and live in her boyfriend's room. She DOES shower, but somehow she smells WORSE after she showers (it is truly a miracle). When we were first "bonding" she deemed me a "neat freak" because I make my bed after washing my sheets roughly every two weeks. Who knew that I was so obsessive-compulsive?

Posted by: Majma at March 23, 2004 12:10 AM